For the inappropriate moments
life’s a bitch, just when you thought it could not get any worse it did
such immaculate timing, sure wish you could close that leverage
rather than soil your under pants
buy FTC today
It’s Never Too Soon
Make Sure you have spare underware at all times
Wealth Management
at the Federal Trade Commission we got your back. erm, actually we dont have your back, accidents happen and we aint the FTC
Investments
your investement is safe with us, clearly not financial advice, or FA (feck all) as they say, pamp it, you will be glad you did
Retirement Planning
yes, sers or whatever, we are with you every step of the way. what better cough.. investment cough.. could you make in having a shit load of useless FTC tokens
Evolving with Monitoring and Rebalancing
rebalance your life priorities. monitor your backup underware for freshness and cleanliness, you will never know when you going to need it.
Crafting Your Ideal Fund Selection
what a lie, they are all after those fiats you spent countless hours slaving to acquire. here at FTC all you need is clean underpants and a stack of Fart Touched Cloth coinz.
farts dont have to be scary
a spare pair of underwear is not going to bog you down, hodl FTC today and build for a bright future *
soiled underpants not included
Address
21 wtf could go wrong st, ibadan, nigeria
Phone
+234 70 809 012 345
FTC
choosing a Certified Fart Planner (CFP) is as personal as picking a crypto advisor promising to 1000x your net worth via a token you’ve never heard of. and just like trusting someone with your seed phrase, it’s a relationship built on trust and farts dont do it